P u r i t y T e s t -=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=- Instructions score by adding up all "no" answers. MOS means member of the opposite sex. Each "no" answer is worth one point out of the possible 100 points, so oviously the higher you score, the purer you are. I suggest counting your score at the top of the page rather than answering next to each question, otherwise everyone will know exactly what you have and haven't done. By the way, I didn't write this test, it was given to me by a friend, so I must give credit to whoever did write it (who should look up the copywrite laws.) H a v e Y o u E v e r : -------------------------------------- 1. had a date? 2. been out on a date past 4 a.m.? 3. had a blind date? 4. kissed an MOS? 5. been French kissed? 6. kissed an MOS in the horizontal position? 7. French kissed more than 3 MOS's in 24 hours?(different) 8. kissed an MOS in the last three months? 9. necked for more than 2 hours consecutively? 10. slow danced cheek-to-cheek? 11. had an alcoholic drink? 12. been drunk? 13. driven while under the influence of alcohol or drugs? 14. had a lapse of memory due to alcohol or drugs? 15. used alcohol or drugs to lower an MOS's resistance? 16. smoked tobacco? 17. smoke pot or hash? 18. used a stronger drug? 19. taken 3 or more recreational drugs within 24 hours? 20. read a pronographic book or magazine? 21. seen a pornographic movie? 22. seen a stripper? (profesional) 23. been arrested? 24. been convicted of a crime? 25. had an erection/clitoral erection? 26. had an orgasm? 27. had an orgasm in a dream? 28. fondles a MOS's ass? 29. caressed an MOS's thigh? 30. fondled a breast or had your breast fondled? 31. wrestled with an MOS? 32. showered, bathed, jacuzzied, or saunaed with an MOS? 33. gone skinny dipping with an MOS? 34. gone through the motions of intercourse while fully cothed? 35. spent the night in an MOS's room? 36. slept in the same bed with an MOS? 37. seen a post-pubescent MOS naked? 38. been seen naked by an MOS after puberty? 39. undressed or been undressed by an MOS? 40. kissed an MOS on the breast or been kissed on the breast? 41. fondled an MOS's genitals or had your genitals fondled? 42. had an orgasm due to mainpulation by an MOS? 43. kissed an MOS on the thigh? 44. engaged in cunnilingus? 45. engaged in fellatio? 46. had sexual intercourse at a parent's house while they where home? 47. engaged in sexual activity on the first date? 48. masterbated? 49. masturbated to a picture? 50. masturbated with another person in the room? 51. watched another person masterbate? 52. been caught masterbating? 53. simulated intercourse with an inanimate object? 54. committed an act of voyerism? 55. committed an act of exhibitionism? 56. massaged or been massaged by an MOS? 57. unintentionally interupted a couple in a significant state of undress? 58. participated in a tickle orgy, gross out, truth or dare, etc? 59. experimented sexualy before puberty? 60. purchased contraceptives in a drug store? 61. had sexual intercourse? 62. had sexual intercourse more than 10 times? 63. had sexual intercourse continually for an half hour? 64. had sexual intercourse within the last 3 months? 65. had sexual intercourse 3 or more time in one night? 66. had sexual intercourse in a car? 67. had sexual intercourse using a condom? 68. had sexual intercourse in three or more positions? 69. well, have you? 70. had sexual intercourse outdoors? 71. had sexual intercourse with 3 different people? 72. had sexual intercourse with a virgin? 73. had sexual intercourse during menstration? 74. had sexual intercourse without using birth control? 75. had sexual intercourse in a public place? 76. had sexual intercourse with 2 or more MOS's in 24 hours? 77. described a sexual experience to a seperate party? 78. committed statutory rape (sex with anyone under 18, even with their consent) 79. been the object of travel or travelled 100 miles or more for sexual activity? 80. impregnated a woman or been impregnated? 81. arranged or had an abortion? 82. displaced a roomate by staring with an MOS for one or more nights? 83. shacked up with an MOS for a month or more? 84. tasted semen? 85. been propositioned by a prostitute or pimp? 86. accepted? 87. had anal intercourse? 88. been tested for VD due to reasonable suspision? 89. had VD? 90. picked up a strange MOS for sexual purposes? 91. engaged in group sex? 92. engaged in sadism or masochism for sexual enjoyment? 93. been propsitioned by a member of the same sex? 94. accepted? 95. been masturbated by a member of the same sex? 96. been orally stimulated by a member of the same sex? 97. committed incest? 98. fondled a pre-pubescent MOS? 99. engaged in transvestism for sexual enjoyment? 100. committed bestiality? Well, now, I hope we all learned something, I guess when you make a test of this sort, it's consutomary to make grades for scores. I think you'll get a more accuarate picture of your purity by comparing your score with other people, since age makes a very big difference. I've seen scores in the eighties. On the other hand, the editor of the Platopus (the source of this text) got a 23, but I think he's lying. Here's a general grading for High School/College age. 100-90: I hope the nuns treat you well 90-80: You probably failed sex ed in grade school too. 80-70: What are you, a Freshman? 70-60: Not too bad, I guess. You still should get out more. 60-50: About average, which is a pretty boring place to be. 50-40: You have potential. 40-30: You're mother broght you up wrong. 30-20: The authorities should be informed of your behavior. 20-10: Maybe we could have lunch sometime? 10- 0: Liar! (If you didn't lie, you qualify for a free date with me) Type Laboriously by, Greg